Query Letters and Shark tanks

If you're just starting out, you may ask "What is a query letter?"

Query letters are a short blurb for your novel. It's basically like back cover copy. That brief thing that people glance over when deciding if they want to read your book.

The query is what an agent or a publisher will see. It has to be clear, short, and compelling enough to make them want to read your manuscript.

I know, they really are a pain in the royal caboose. It's hard to condense a 100,000 word narrative into a 250 word burp. It's even harder to make it any good.

You may also ask "Do I really need one? Can't my story just live or die by virtue of its amazingness?"

No. No it can not.

See, agents and editors are super busy people. They can't read manuscripts from every Tom, Dick, Harry, Joe, and Rutherford. They only have time for one page (if even that.) If they can't see potential after that one page, they move on.

Fair or not, such is life.

My first query letter was a monstrosity. 2,158 words.

Every time I open the file, I shudder. I'm thoroughly embarrassed that I let something that bad get seen by anyone. And I'm extremely un-surprised that I got that form rejection letter. (See tomorrow's post for more about rejections.)

I don't claim to be the world's leading expert on query letters. But luckily for all of us hapless newbies, there is a most wonderful and magnificent blog which is entirely dedicated to the perfecting of query letters.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce you to the shark tank:

http://queryshark.blogspot.com

This blog will be your best friend. It is run by an agent who spends much of her free time disemboweling query letters, purely out of the goodness of her heart. (Or maybe out of ravenous hunger and sarcasm.)

Unless you want to become shark bait (ooh ha ha) you WILL follow these rules when treading in the shark infested waters:

• Read all of the archives. Yes, I said all of them. There are over 200. But I'm up to about 135, and I'm still learning new things from them. Just do it.
• Follow the advice. (Some people seem to think that the rules don't apply to them. These people often become chum.)
• If you want to submit a letter, FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS. It isn't that hard to do. And t'would seem common sense, but for that pesky little thing called the 'brain'. Some people don't use them. Alas.

As I said, there are over 200 posts on query shark. Getting through them won't be a walk in the park. But if you're even semi-serious about your writing, just do it.

In the mean time, though, here are a few very, very basics to get you started on the right path. 

• Don't go over 250 words. Ever.
• White space: use it. Break up your paragraphs so that people don't get migraines just from looking at your letter. 
• Include a few basic things: WHO the story is about, WHAT their problem is, and WHAT the stakes are if they don't fix their problem. These are absolutely crucial. 
• Wordy epistles of flowery prose will not sell anything. (See previous bullet.) Clarity always. 
• EDIT
• EDIT AGAIN
• Read Query Shark